i'm not afraid of flying

but i am a little superstitious. it is september 11th, afterall, and we're headed for sky harbor. we've yet to say our goodbyes to the boys and i'm already praying ["dear god, make me a bird..."] just to make it home safe to them.

i remember a time when i wasn't so afraid of fear. specifically the time i went skydiving in eloy, arizona when i was young and stupid. as the airplane gained altitude i clearly remember sitting in all my gear, armed with very little training and thinking to myself, self, it's okay. if we [self and i and most likely the attached instructor, one would surmise] die today, that's alright [not to speak for the instructor, of course.] we're happy and though it's been short, we've had a good life. some people will miss us, but not too terribly. nobody really needs, needs us, or depends on us. besides we probably won't die.

well, times have changed. i now know a couple of guys who really do need and depend on me. and if the plane crash doesn't kill me, all i'd need to finish the job is to think about those little guys going through life without their dad and me-the only two people who could possibly love them more than anything and anyone else.

we know they're in good hands with oma and opa. afterall, how many babysitters do you know that actually thank you for letting them take on your kids for several days? oma and opa have been looking forward to having jonah and isaak this week and are prepared [an understatement] to give them their undivided attention. the problem might be getting them to come home with us at the end of the week.

so, we're going to vermont, in the fall, with glorious fall trees and refreshing fall weather. we're going on a getaway together and alone. we're going to celebrate our upcoming anniversary. we're going to visit friends and ride ferry boats. we're going to miss those boys.

leaving on a jet plane - chantal kreviazuk