just add sugar

this is what joe presented his parents with upon arrival of our boys. an official manila envelope containing some minimal instructions and a legal, notarized, child medical consent form.

Congratulations

on your new super duper
busy Bast boys

Just add sugar!!

CARE AND FEEDING MANUAL

contents: BAST BOY* - PKG OF 2

*Not responsible for loss of property, damage to property, expenses associated with loss or damage to property including the following: explosions or fire and/or smoke damage, flood damage, or expenses, electrical malfunctions or fires, radiation exposure, failure or partial failure of structural integrity, indications or evidence of earthquakes, typhoons, twisters, hurricanes, monsoons, tempests, torrents, cyclones, gales, tornadoes, dust devils, mudslides, tidal waves, solar flares, meteorites, agitations, disturbances, turbulence, dooseys, whoppers, nor'easters, acid rain, thermonuclear detonation, apocalypses, or collapse of the space-time continuum. We claim zero accountability for unusual or revolting smells, unidentifiable liquids and solids, migrations of said unidentifiables to infinite locations including on your person, gushing fluids, airborne particles, UFO's, projectiles (not limited to vomit or oral excretion in any form), bio hazards, watery eyes, singed nose hairs, loss of and/or graying of hair, profuse perspiration, CDC intervention and/or expenses associated with CDC intervention. We deny claims and/or recovery costs on pushed buttons, loss of patience, fatigue, mental distress, hallucinations, vertigo, aching or broken backs, instantaneous aging, loss of motor skills and/or reflexes, PTSD, shock, warts, hives, dementia disorientation, regression, repressions, regurgitation, digression, oppression, therapy, counseling services, insulin or shock therapy, hypnosis, memory repression services, rickets, scurvy, and all other medical expenses and/or compensation.


to which oma replied, "i told you we should have updated our insurance policies before they came."